Part of the inspiration for my writing again is this conversation I seem to be having with my friends and colleagues: at least 3 times a week someone says to me, "I don't know how you do it." This is usually in reference to my having two children, a husband, a legal career and what they perceive to be a great deal of charitable/civic activity. I am in awe every time. What makes them think I am "doing it." What is "it" anyway? I am struggling to keep my sanity at work and crossing my fingers and praying that they won't fire me at the end of the billable year when I turn up about 200 hours short, I often wonder if social services would take my children away if they saw the condition of my house, my husband and I rarely find time for a meaningful conversation (and don't even get me started on "intimacy"), we live paycheck to paycheck and make more money than the majority of people in America and I don't get to do as much community and volunteer work as I would like. And I haven't even mentioned that I see my kids for sometimes less than 3 hours a day. What is it that makes people think I have it all together? I really strive for authenticity, sometimes to a fault. How have I created an image of successfulness? I don't feel successful.
So, my response to the comment "I don't know how you do it," is "I don't."
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1 comment:
Love this post. It's good to have you back!
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