I love reading my old journals. I wish I still wrote in one regularly, but I don't. It's very, very sporadic. For instance, I have a journal that is almost half full. The first entry in it is from 8/19/04 and the last is from 7/20/08. I re-read all of the entries recently and I was stuck by the first one, so I thought I would re-type it here. Remember that we moved from L.A. to Lexington in June of '04
8/19/04:
I am on the plane, on my way to L.A. It's very surreal. I wish I was staying for longer than 3 nights. Even though I have peace about our move to Kentucky, something about the thought of the plane landing and stepping off into that place I love and hate, makes me incredibly happy. I have such an affection for so many places I have lived. I fell the same when i drive into Indianapolis or arrive in South Bend. I often dream of the tears of joy if I ever get to go back to Northern Ireland. Every place feels likes home. I think it's because of the flood of emotions and memories that come up each time - they are so real, I can almost taste, touch, hear them. In each place, a new piece of me has been formed. For L.A., there is a particular affection. I started my career, I met my husband, I lived as an adult for the first time. When I met Carl I was more self-aware, more comfortable in my own skin than I ever had been - and more so than I am now. Sometimes when I think about us living in Lexington, I think, "I am finally home." But then every time I step off the plane or drive into one of those familiar cities I feel like that place is home. I suppose it is. Home is where I grow and change - where I love and get my heart broken, where I make friends and lose friends and I meet people who see the me that is when I am in that place. I used to think only one place could be home - where you could feel safe and loved and be "yourself." But in each of those places, I am my self - the self that has evolved as a result of my experiences there. And each time I come home, I am reminded of who I was when I first arrived and who I was when I first left and I know better who I am now.
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One mother and wife's attempt to reconcile her faith, her femininity and her independence. I have it all, now what do I do with it?
I am a mother of two boys. I am a recovering lawyer and a wife. I am a Christian and some would consider me a liberal. I usually vote Democrat.
I am part of a unique generation of women who are living in the implications of feminism. We've been told all our lives that we could have it all, so we got it all, and now we don't know what to do with it. This is part of my attempt to make sense of that. If you want to read about what started this all, here is my first post.
I am part of a unique generation of women who are living in the implications of feminism. We've been told all our lives that we could have it all, so we got it all, and now we don't know what to do with it. This is part of my attempt to make sense of that. If you want to read about what started this all, here is my first post.
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