Relationship First

I had lunch today with a business associate who is starting to become a close friend.  I'm not exactly sure why I invited him to lunch or felt compelled to share with him everything I shared, but I told him about my quest for clarity and simplicity. Anyway, he had some interesting insights.  He shared his philosophy on simplicity and told me that he is very protective of his relationship with his partner and that it is his number one priority.  He has a very successful business that could be even more successful if he wanted it to be (those are my words, not his, but he recognizes that he is good at what he does) and he has intentionally chosen not to grow the business beyond what he can handle well without sacrificing what is most important to him.  I love that.  I have a great deal of admiration for this individual.  He is so measured and disciplined. I envy that.  I don't know if it's in my nature to ever be that controlled, but I like being around other people who are.  It gives me a sense of calm. 

What really struck me about our conversation today is that everything my friend said was reminiscent of my church-upbringing and instruction on how we are to treat our marriages - as sacred and as a priority.  God, spouse and then children is supposed to be the order of things.  Isn't that ironic?  This man who is not allowed by the church, or the state for that matter, to formalize his commitment to his partner is following the church's teachings on the priority of your spouse in a marriage.

I struggle with this whole relationship first idea.  How exactly am I supposed to make my husband a priority over my children?  They are dependent on me and frankly, they came from me.  I carried them around for over nine months and then gave birth to them.  How am I supposed to prioritze my husband over them?  And how do you put your relationship first at this age when you are building your career?  When the largest portion of my waking day is spent at work?